Nothing like good friends

My dad sent the text and photos for this post to me last Tuesday - sorry for the delay.

As you journey through life, you meet so many people, some cast no memory, some remain for the moment then dissipate into space like a quiet flagellation, some stick around like a bad dream that continues to surface in your subconscious, and then there are those wonderful souls whose memories illicit smiles, warm your heart, draw you to them again and again, who fall within that wonderful category we call friends.

So many friends have written and extended their best wishes, prayers, hopes, encouragement, and humor, and their positive energy has cast a formidable shell around this cancer, keeping it contained and wondering where this force is coming from. I know it comes from love, faith, goodness, hope, gratitude, and a positive energy that emanates from the good souls of all these friends. Prior to my last cocktail (chemo) I had a scan of the bones after taking an infusion of some “nitro” stuff that allows the scanning machine to detect changes within the skeletal framework of the body. The doctor had told me that if it was spreading, they’d take me off the “Year” study I’m on, yet keep me on the chemo treatments. Fortunately, the scan showed no expansion or new spots on the bones! Still have two on the hips, and one on a rib, and they are not expanding or growing. So, all the prayers are working. Chemo is doing some good besides taking all the hair off my body (Babs says my legs are smoother than hers – how she knows we’ll keep to ourselves), making my legs swell, keeping fatigue as a too frequent visitor, and a few other side effects that are not worth lamenting about. All is good. They did detect a spot on my lung and took another c-scan last week and will get the results on that soon. I expect good news.

Coming back to friends, 37 years ago, I sold a home to Bob and Kay Martin in the Pinery in Colorado. The Pinery was the project that took me to Colorado and in essence was the roots of my real estate career. Bob was establishing a Dentistry practice in the then remote area of Parker. Over the years we’ve served in Optimists together, were officers of our Home Owners Assn., we’ve competed in tennis, racket ball, hiking, golf, and for more years than I can remember, we’ve bet on the NFL season. He loves to gamble and while some might consider it a vice, for Bob, it’s a lifeline of fun and adventure. We’ve coached little league teams, attended parties, welcomed beautiful children into our lives, traveled to “fat farms” to take off some unwelcome pounds, and remained friends throughout it all. Four years ago, Bob bought a cabin on a lake in Minocqua, Wisconsin, fulfilling a lifelong dream of having a place for his kids and grandkids to vacation where they would be able to enjoy, just as he had enjoyed with his father while growing up in the suburbs of Chicago. Each May, he’s invited me to spend time with him at the cabin and it’s been something I look forward to always. After last May, knowing I had contracted the big “C”, we set a date for May, 2010, and we just completed a great six days of golf. We also set a date for 2011, and I plan on being there again! Each morning, at 6:15, we’d be on the first hole. The only people we would see for the first two hours were the grass cutters. The Pro gave us a key to the golf carts and we were off before the squirrels were up. My game has gone “South” for some reason, my rhythm seems to be on hold at some remote place in my brain, and I paid him every day but one (he’d finally softened enough to give me an adequate number of strokes to offset the difference in our games). It was a very inexpensive way of paying for my room and board. We cooked in, watched movies, read, boated, bantered, and found that 6 days was about the outer limit of standing each other’s different ways. Bob’s pretty anal and controlling, however, with my ever present patience and charm, he turns into a very warm anal and controlling person. Bottom-line, we had a great time. He gave me an article about a new vaccine for prostate cancer that he wants me to explore. Adds an extra 8 mos. to your life he says, minimum, and only costs $93,000 per shot! I told him that amount of money, it should at least extend one’s existence to 9 months plus provide a daily masseuse for the whole time!

Yesterday, Bob dropped me off at Rhinelander airport, Babs flew in, and we we’re picked up by our friends, Joe and Debbie Yost. Both are Stars we met through the Star Power network and they are gifted people. The have a beautiful home in WI as well as Casa Grande, AZ. Their work is in AZ, however they operate from there as well as here in WI. So good to see Babs after 6 days and am blessed to still feel like a teenager in love when I see her. The Yosts are consummate hosts and we’re going to have the pleasure of their hospitality until Saturday. Their success continues and as I wandered through their home, I saw a number of phrases, each a guide for them and for all of us. Things like, “Believe in Miracles”, “Dream until your dreams come true”, “Everything on earth has a purpose and every person a mission” and many more. It’s small wonder they do as well as they do because they live each of these. Joe is a great cook, and they’ve opened up their home in WI to us. We slept like babies last night on what seemed like clouds, the bed was heavenly! We look forward to great conversations, eating like starved hikers, boating on glass, laughing, and sharing time with quality people. It’s fun for us to be around the people who helped us build the business and watch them at work……and play. They do both so well.

Well, that about summarizes my blog today. Got Darcie’s blog the other day, and the rabbit craze has waned with two of the granddaughters, they continue to show brilliance (wrote and performed a 30 minute plus play for their parents and grandparents), explore nature, and learn from their wonderful parents. Also went to another softball practice and my hip has hurt ever since. Will report on that after seeing doctor. It feels like a typical pain in the @%#$. (How some might describe me at times in my life.)

My brother Merrill and wife Kalle are coming to SLC in the next couple of weeks, and they’re such a treat to be around. All my brothers and their wives are getting together and we’re so looking forward to great Brinton stories, old and new, as we always enjoy each other’s company.

Love to all,

Howard

Half Way Home….. 

Where to start……been on a roller coaster ride since last chemo cocktail, some 2 weeks ago. Have you ever put off something only to have it get larger and larger in your mind to the point of annoyance? That’s what this blog entry has been. Didn’t feel like writing after treatment and the longer I avoided writing, the BIGGER it became. So, here I am in full penance, tackling it and feeling like an anvil is being lifted off my shoulders.

Cocktail: They gave me two doses of stuff at the last one and maybe that’s what got to me. First was dose of Zometa, which is supposed to keep bones strong. Get it every three months, no matter the weather or season, and the first time I got shot it made me very ill with chills that aren’t associated with a joy ride. Then they gave me my normal chemo stuff next and the combo kept me feeling pretty weak for longer than the normal (7 days after). That, combined with taking a much stronger diuretic to lower the size of my legs, which are pretty big to begin with (all the muscle from years of athletic prowess plus an ample dose of inherited size from the Brinton genes), may have been what zapped me.

Legs: The size DID finally go down and I lost about 25 pounds in three days. I’ll not be writing any testimonials for the diuretic as a competition for Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers as it played havoc with some of the chemicals in my body. Things like potassium and others that I can only vaguely recall from my high school chemistry classes, from which I received a low C-. I’ll never take for granted the beauty of being able see blood vessels and tendons sticking out from my ankles again. They look so much better now. They are still a fraction of their prior selves in strength, but they take me up and down stairs, around golf courses, and they have been able to hold me up for at least two steps before the collapse, as I chase after a softball grounder.

Softball: Still engaged in practices. Two weeks ago, after a practice, the coach said, “Okay guys (all over 70, so fortunately he speaks loudly), tomorrow is our first game.” My excitement rose as he walked down the line of players, all taking off their chin guards, elastic bandages, tape, ankle and knee braces, handing out the schedule on a bright yellow paper. He handed one to the player on my right, skipped me, and handed one to the player on my left, and continued on. I didn’t make the first cut! I’ve always been one of the first chosen in pick-up games….and now, I didn’t even get a schedule! 

I felt just like I did in the 10th grade when we’d clamor to the bulletin board to see if we’d made the cut for the basketball team, only to find our name missing from the fortunate few. Will be attending practices and will hopefully be asked to engage in a full blown game before season ends. Did purchase some batting gloves and chin guards myself, and their stacked neatly next to my gear, awaiting the call. Possibly need a new jock strap, unfortunately smaller in size, since taking anti-tetesterone medicine.

Interview: On last blog, I mentioned that I’d done a two hour interview with Alex Charfen and didn’t know what he intended to do with it. He’s packaged and is selling it through the company (Star Power) and I hope many purchase it. After all, it is me!  Here's a video of some of the interview:  Howard Interview

Tag: My grandson Tag is going in for surgery on June 11 to have the head tumor removed. He’s looking good, is healthy as a horse, cute as a bug, and this will be a relief for all concerned. Keep your thoughts and prayers directed in his behalf. We’ll be celebrating Mother’s Day with his mom, her mom, and of course Babs. Hope all you Mothers have a day to remember…..you’re a special group. My mother was a saint, and I feel her presence with me always. She shaped my personality, formed my values, and she never put off a blog entry! 

A groggy Tag after getting a recent MRI. Love the shirt!

Golf Outing: 39 years ago, as a young sales manager, I hired a bunch of guys to sell land at a development in Colorado (it’s what took me to Colorado in the first place). Some of us were convinced we still had a few strands of elastic in our jock straps, so we created a softball team to play in a recreational league. From that group, there are 8 of us that have stayed in contact and are great friends, and we’ve taken golf outings twice each year for the last 10-15 years. 

I have been anointed the “Golf God” of the group, setting out the format, handicaps, and rules over the years, and playing “God” has been a most enjoyable role. Last Fall, I had to leave the event early as I was being negatively affected by the radiation treatments. I didn’t feel like throwing up while one of my opponents was putting was that detrimental to their score, but when it happened while I was putting, I could see how it could dampen one’s accuracy, so I departed. 

1st fairway, off deck of house

Back of house we stayed in...30 yards from first tee 

We didn’t know if I’d be back for this years events, but I planned on it just the same. Well, last weekend, I journeyed to Houston for our outing and it went well. The guys were very helpful in lifting bags, cooking, cleaning, etc. and I was able to drive to most shots. While I didn’t score too well, the beauty of being out in the open, on a course, with friends, was invigorating, and I gained strength each day. Twas a great time. One of the fellows, we call him “Dots” because he’s always asking for more dots on his scorecard (strokes), gave me a hat with a pony tail (see photo below) which reminded me of happy times golfing with Chip Neuman, Steve Westmark, and Cathy Russell in Pebble Beach years ago. 

Chip came with all the hats with hair. Some guy came up to me in Houston at the course and said, “I saw that pony tail and thought it was legitimate until I got close and figured after looking at you, it should have some grey in it.” I think there was a compliment in there somewhere, however it is still eluding me.

Family: One of the reasons for moving to SLC, was to be around family, and Saturday evening was a typical family event. My niece’s son Will (this is when you realize your getting on in years) was called to a Mormon Mission, and many in the family gathered to first, guess where he’s serve, eat, and then watch him open his letter to receive where he’d be going. I picked South Africa, and only missed it by a Continent, as Argentina is where he will be serving for the next two years. He’s a good looking 6’3” young man, just turned 19, and is very excited to launch on this journey. 

Will in the light blue shirt next to his dad

As you can see, there were many young people there to celebrate with him and to wish him well. My brother Merrill served a mission to Argentina years ago. I asked Will, “Habla Espanol?”. He replied, “Yes, Spanish.” I think he’ll do well, however, “Si” would have made me feel more confident in his early success. His long term success is not in question.

Surgery: Remember all those vacations to sunny spots, laying around the pool, lathering yourself in sun tan lotion, rolling from side to side so your body could tan evenly, and sipping a cool drink? We looked so good. Well when you turn 70, those rays we absorbed early on in life seem to show up on one’s skin. I believe I mentioned going to a dermatologist and he burned off many skin cancers off my face and hands, well one didn’t seem to respond so he took a biopsy, and found it needed to be removed surgically. Tuesday was that day and you can see how I looked coming out of the doctor’s office (photo with bandaid), and how long the scar is with my pony tail hat (photo). 

Right after surgery when Babs picked me up 

Ponytail hat and lovely scar.

There are always good things about whatever happens in life, so I’m going to have less wrinkles on my left side, my jaw will be straighter, or I will create a story to accompany the scar that will elevate me as a hero in other’s eyes! It looks like I came out on the short end of a knife attack, but you should see the other guys (took more than one to inflict such abuse). 

Bandaid at home with my boulder dome

Idea: My friend Bruce Mulhearn mentioned to me about an exercise he did that had a great impact on his life: Namely, identify and list the 10 turning points in one’s life. Haven’t done it yet, but this cancer stuff is surely one of mine, and I’m looking forward to identifying the others. Starting Star Power was surely one of them as it introduced me to so many wonderful people.

Prissy? What do you do when your spouse calls you “Prissy?” Babs mentioned that lots of times, couples help each other clean the wax out of their ears. Candidly, that’s not something I signed up for when the preacher said, “….for better or for worse…” but she obviously does. She called me “Prissy”! Fortunately, my wax is so thick, I couldn’t hear her clearly and thought she asked, “Is she?” I responded, “Is she what?”

Love to you all, 

Howard